Inspired by the great “Parks and Rec” I have decided to participate in a bi-weekly “Treat yo self” day. Sometimes you can greatly benefit by spending one day all to yourself, doing whatever you want to do.
Yesterday was my day. I walked up to the taxi rank where I waited a bit for the shared taxi to be full. Eventually it was packed with 15+ people and we made our journey over the mountains into the town. I enjoyed the sights of mountains, cattle, antelope, and sometimes even baboons. Although the baboons frighten me. You would think that being crammed into a small van full of strangers who don’t speak the same language as me would be a little frightening; but honestly, it is pretty relaxing.
We tried to make small talk, the few English words they know mixed with the few Tswana words I know. We talked about the weather and how, hopefully, the approaching storm may actually bring the much needed rain. I have learned that sometimes having a conversation doesn’t always mean just talking. We tend to use a lot of pointing and smiling to get our points across.
After about 30-45 minutes (depending on the driver) we arrive in town. Everyone swiftly files out of the taxi and are lost in the sea of people that surround the hectic in-town taxi rank.
I have been desperately craving the staple item in my US diet. So I casually made my way to the other side of the town to Debonair’s Pizza! “I’ll have a large 3 cheese and a poweraid please.” As I sat and enjoyed my pizza, yes the whole thing, I enjoyed the people watching as well.
This pizzeria is set up in a very familiar fashion. Like my life long employment back home, it’s a pizzeria, and petrol (gas) station. It is also the first station you get to when you arrive in the town. Many different types of people passed through while I was dripping pizza grease down my chin. There were white Afrikaans families and black Botswanans and all there for similar things. Fuel, something to eat, and something to quench the thirst from our 100° day. Some people were speaking English, some Afrikaans and many were speaking Tswana. It was so exciting to just listen, even though they may have been talking about the loner American boy stuffing his face with pizza. Secondly to people watching, I love enjoying the different vehicles. There are Chevy’s and Ford’s, but all just slightly different than back home.
When I finished, I grabbed my bag, packed up my rubbish and looked for a garbage bin. Every time I eat out the employees are amazed at the fact that I clean up after myself. It is very customary to just leave it. There are employees that have the specific job of cleaning the tables. (I finally asked)
Then I made my way back into the heart of the town. The “mall!”
I spent hours walking around the crowded Pick & Pay looking at everything. I must have read 25 boxes of tea before deciding on the simple green tea. I took my time deciding on the needs and the wants. What fit into my small budget, and what would simply have to wait until next month. It is “treat yo self” day so I did manage to grab a large bar of chocolate. I love the looks and questions I get from the cashiers as I check out. Every time they are just amazed at the fact that there’s an American shopping in their store. You have to pay extra for plastic bags (brilliant!) so I loaded my goods into my reusable bag from Vanessa and was on my way.
My next stop is Wimpy. It’s a simple chain diner…. With free WiFi! “Table for one!” I ordered my double espresso cappuccino, still weaker than I’m used to, but delicious and turned on my phone.
I read though all my emails and replied to those that I could formulate a response. I checked snapchat, twitter and Instagram. I spent time aimlessly scrolling through the black hole of Facebook. I sent messages to people back home who are still asleep, or just waking for the day that I’m about to finish.
That’s when I made my post:
“My parents, Clay and Annette, are the best! And I can now say that I totally miss them! Haha. Only 8+ months to go! Love you both!”
What I mean by that is, simply I miss them. I miss the bothersome noise of dad stirring his coffee, early in the morning, like he’s whipping eggs. Or mom crunching ice cubes or almonds while watching CSI. I miss dad yelling at me for not using the solar dryer (clothesline) or for taking too long of a shower. I miss mom nagging me to clean my room or to load the dishwasher. I miss their cooking. Dad’s Sunday brunch, and Mom’s Chicken Paprika. I miss sitting in the living room with a glass of wine and crowding around the woodstove. I miss the late night games of cards, dice or marbles and the morning chats on the front porch. I miss the advice when I’m troubled or lost and the love when I’m sick or brokenhearted. I miss the enormous strength of these two powerful humans!!!
But that’s it! I miss them. For the first time in my life I have traveled far out of my comfort zone. I am half way across the world, in a new country, with a different language, culture and no family. For the first time in my life my parents aren’t available with the snap of finger. I can’t walk down the hall to find them, or fly home for a weekend away. I can’t send a letter, Skype or even make a phone call whenever I want or need them. For the first time, I am forced to be without them. The most natural thing for me to do is to miss them.
That doesn’t mean I want them here, and I sure as hell don’t want to go home. For 26 years they have been preparing me to become an adult. They have taught me the simplest of things as tying my shoe and using a spoon. And the more complex, like why to go to church every Sunday and how to drive a car. (or 15 passenger van)
A great friend once said to me over coffee “a parent’s responsibility is to teach their children how to survive in this world, and then to send them on their way.” So now it is my time. It is my time to teach myself. To grow into the adult that I want to be. They have served me with more than enough tools for me to figure it out. I can not wait until I return home next fall to teach them of who I’ve become. I have only been in the village of Lekubu, South Africa for a few months, but “If they could see me now” they would already notice a change.
In the past few months I have learned how to communicate, using little to no English. I have learned how to make my two 5 gallon buckets of water last a week; bathing, tea, cleaning etc. I have learned the importance of taking my vitamins and finding food that my body needs. I have learned to hand wash my clothing and use the infamous solar dryer. I have learned how to function with only one electrical outlet. One that doesn’t work during load shedding or when the wind blows. I have learned how to collect water from a leaky straw roof during an unexpected storm. I have learned to chase cows from the yard.
I have learned to comfort crying children, even when they don’t understand my words. I have learned to love reading, whether it be the bible or a random book, and writing. Prayers, poems, in my journal, my food log, and Tswana vocabulary. I have learned that I “cannot possibly be full, because I am skinny.” Therefor I need to be fed every chance I can.
There are so many things that I have learned in the past couple of months that came from my parents. I may have realized the lessons here, but it has all been what they’ve taught me my whole life.
Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments. For instance when I was sick and in bed for 3 days due to the diet change. All I wanted was my parent’s cooking. Or just the other night, I sat in the light of my candle, listening to the storm and my music; all the while crying. Missing them and missing home.
I know they miss me just as much, and I hope that this can help them be at peace with it, as I finally am. In less than a year I will travel home to be with them and enjoy the company of love. But then I will end up packing another suitcase at travel away to yet another destination, another chapter just waiting to be discovered.
joshuaharold 